Undeniable Grace

I bought a few pairs of shoes when I was pregnant and now they're too big or they don't match any of my regular clothes. I instantly want to go out and buy more, of course.  Then I think about people who don't have shoes at all; they can't afford them or they have to make them (third world countries don't have Payless or Macys down the street).  I got to thinking, if we step back from our own wants or frustrations in life and notice those around us who are really hurting, we will see how little our problems really are. There are situations where we really need to focus our time and money; where we need to give instead of take. If we can see past our own selfishness we can then see what truly matters and who is truly in need.  When I was leaving Walmart the other day there was an elderly man getting into a car. Someone was picking him up at the door. He had one leg and was on crutches. As I drove away in MY car, with MY legs, and the FREEDOM to go wherever I wanted...

After a rough nap (or no nap I should say) day with Lilly, I finally got her down for bed. She cried for about 20 minutes before falling asleep which was horrific for me because she never cries herself to sleep! Long story short, I'm exhausted. She was fussy today and seemed more needy than usual. Takes a toll on my carpal tunnel when she wants held so much! Since I didn't get to everything on my to do list today I was finishing up one last to-do tonight. I was sitting on my bed with a few of Lilly's books and some tape. Most of them were pop-up or lift-the-flap and naturally she, at nine months, had ripped parts of the books out. At the end of one of the lift-the-flaps there are animals from the story that pop-up. She would get so excited over them that she would just rip them right off of the page! Anyway, I sat there,on my bed, exhausted, and I taped each little piece and each little animal back where it belonged. Then I got to thinking.... As a mommy, and wife too actua...

My amazing husband recently posted this on Facebook: "I've finally realized the more you get (material things, money, job titles etc) the more you worry about losing those things. The more you give (love, time, an ear to listen) the more you get (hope, grace, love in return). It's a basic concept that I've over complicated for a long time." I admire this so much and he and I discuss this often. Jesus says "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy and where thieves break in and steal" Matthew 7:19. He says to store up treasure in heaven where nothing can destroy it. Where your treasure is your heart will also be.  So what does that mean?? Well I've been thinking about it a lot and especially with the holidays around the corner. It's so easy to get caught up in the traditions of things such as:  shopping for gifts, trying to get the best deals on Black Friday, getting the latest technologies, games, movies, ...

So the amazing thing about confessing our sins and asking for forgiveness is GRACE (Lillian's middle name btw :) ) I could easily get hung up on the things I have done wrong or still do, but God knows my heart and He forgives me graciously. If you didn't get to listen to David Crowder's song I posted last week, you MUST look up How He Loves Us and saturate yourself in those lyrics. "If grace were an ocean we'd all be sinking!" I also love "I don't have the time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us." Gets me every time :) So we've talked about rewards recently in BSF. Who doesn't love a reward? A pat on the back? Recognition? Well I must say that my greatest reward (other than truly accepting Christ and God's forgiveness) is my husband. I was so broken when I started going to church with Rodney's sister. I hadn't met him or even knew she had a younger brother when I was babysitting her boys. When I m...

In the short amount of time that I was married (March 2012), had my first baby (Jan. 2013), and moved to a new state (July 2013), I hadn't had much time to really think about everything that was happening. I knew I was happy, excited, tired, nervous, and most of all faithful. My trust in the Lord had grown immensely since I had met my husband, dated him, was married and then became pregnant. I will never forget the day I was standing next to my future husband in church, listening to him singing the worship music and gushing with love for him.  I was struggling with the new path I was on because....well I didn't have a reason at the time; when I look back I think because I was happy, closer to God than I'd ever been, and so amazingly in love with this man that was 9 years older than me, Satan wanted to steal my joy. There were things trying to get in the way of me dating Rodney and things I was skeptical about, but my feelings for him were beyond anything I had ever experien...

Have you ever been on a jury? Ever had to judge a person based on evidence given to you by strangers? Ever had to decide a complete stranger's fate by conversing with other strangers? I've never actually sat on a jury but I almost did. It was for a murder trial that happened in Fairfield, Ohio. Thank goodness I got out of it. I cannot imagine if I would have been part of deciding that man's fate! So why is it so easy to judge other people? When you're out and about, do you find yourself judging people? Critiquing them? Looking at their clothes, car they're driving; what brand is on the bag they're carrying out of the mall? Do you see a mom disciplining her child while you're at the park and think "I would have NEVER handled it that way." Do you feel frustration toward someone when they complain about a situation that they're in; wondering "why did they do that in the first place?" or thinking "they got themselves into the mes...

After today's lecture at BSF, it was even more confirmed how much I need The Lord. As soon as I think I know who I am becoming or what I need, I'm reminded of how imperfect I am. I have to go back to my completely ignorant comment about it being easy to be/become a Christian. Although my heart is in the right place and my personal goals are to become closer to and more knowledgeable of God, I can easily be setback and disappointed by things during my learning. This is completely a personal thing because God is good in every way ; I am just extremely hard on myself.  What I get setback and disappointed about is when I think I've taken steps forward in my growth, I then take two steps back. This week we discussed Matthew chapter 6 and what stood out to me the most was verses 24-35 about worry. If we understand and BELIEVE Jesus, we won't worry. I was instantly convicted when I heard this because I worry constantly. I felt guilty about worrying because if I continue to wor...

So I got to thinking about my staying at home with Lilly. This new "job," "adventure," "time out from teaching," whatever you want to call it. Is it a selfish choice? Am I selfish for staying home with Lilly? Ultimately, am I at home to take care of her or am I at home just so that I can be with her all of the time and not miss anything?! It's something to think about... So I thought back to when Rodney and I decided that I'd stay home. It was never a set plan or decision. We had many conversations about it while I was pregnant and then of course after Lilly arrived. I went back to work when she was six weeks old, which really didn't seem so emotionally tough because my mother and mother-in-law took care of her...at my home...Monday to Friday...didn't have to get her up each day, pack up a diaper bag, bundle her up and head out. I had it made! Not bragging, just VERY thankful. Knowing I only had to teach ten weeks of school then I'd hav...

My husband and I were talking the other night and I said to him," Ya know, it really is very easy to be a Christian. Recognize your sins, confess, ask for forgiveness, and live for God. Why don't more people do this?!" Wow. How ignorant of me. I must have forgotten in that moment where I have been. I must have forgotten how lost I had become at one time; how untrusting I was; how angry and abandoned I felt. I still suffer from guilt for mistakes I've made and for choices I wish I could go back and change. I also struggle to live up to His standards-well none of us can-and keep faith that He loves me even when I make mistakes. The most impressionable church I went to when I was younger completely skewed the way I saw God. I was continually confused about what it meant to be a Christian and what God's role in my life was. I went to church, I prayed, I cried a lot. I was a good kid, nice to others. Why didn't it feel right? Why did I feel like the least of them w...

My husband recently, kindly and very accurately told me I am a perfectionist. It absolutely cracks me up that I am. Most perfectionists are prepared, organized, on time, they remember everything- I do not do half of these things. Yet I am so hard on myself in every situation. Literally, the way I sweep the floor I beat myself up about! It's hilarious really.  I try to tell myself "Katie, you're not perfect. No one is perfect." Besides if we were what would be the point of even being on earth? What would our purpose be here if we were living perfectly?  The best part about my imperfect perfectionism is that I'm a procrastinator too. Honestly, what kind of perfectionist puts things off??? I think as a mommy I naturally beat myself up about things. I did it when I was teaching as well, but if I do or don't do something "right" for Lilly I just can't take it! Now, some of this stems from the OCD that runs in my family- but I still think that all momm...

One thing I've realized I'm insecure about with being a sahm, is talking with other moms who work outside of the home. I find myself feeling inferior or that I have nothing to talk to them about. I wonder sometimes if they view me as that barefoot pregnant person that just washes clothes all day (no I'm not pregnant again- just giving a visual). No one has made me feel bad about being a sahm; maybe I take on this idea myself and worry about it on my own. It's definitely a weird feeling though and situations can be awkward.  When I was working I had my own idea of sahms. I wasn't always sure what to think of them. When I would see a super fit mom I'd think "gee must be nice to have time to really work out and focus on your body." If a student would miss class to go somewhere special with their parents during a school day I'd think "Must be nice to go to the zoo on a less crowded day than a weekend day." Although I would have never admitted...

Well, as I've begun my new job as a stay at home mom (sahm) I have learned many new things. Each day, in fact, I learn several new things seems like. I wanted to start a blog about it and to my surprise I already had; when I was 39 weeks pregnant with miss Lillian Grace. (btw, Lilly ended up being 4 days overdo. Completely healthy- 7 lbs 13 oz, 19 1/2 in long; I labored for 7 hours, had her naturally, and fell in love with her the moment she was put on my chest. God is so good and answered so many prayers. She overcame the 2 vessel cord as she measures and weighs more than I did at her age.) So life as a mommy and wife....I love it. It's stressful. It's fulfilling. It's tiring. It's, it's, it's wonderful really. I never pictured myself staying at home, but low and behold here I am. Rodney and I are thankful to even have the opportunity to pursue it and I think Lilly likes it quite a bit as well. Lilly was born in Cincinnati which is where I started this ...

It was about 19 weeks ago that my husband and I went for our 20 week check up to find out the sex of our baby. We were so excited we couldn't stand it! I was so sure it would be a boy and my husband kept mentioning "her" and "she" when  referring to Baby Gray. While the tech did the ultrasound and we held hands in amazement watching and listening as we saw a little body, hands, feet, fingers and toes, a little heart strongly beating, and then we were told everything looked great and all organs were present. As we continued to watch as she pointed out different things she suddenly said "And there's your baby girl." My husband came over and kiss me on the head and in shock, I teared up and needed to hear it again. I just knew it was going to be a boy. We had 2 nephews and 1 niece. All of the first born on both sides were boys. I had convinced myself that it was going to be a little boy and was even more drawn to little boys' clothing and toys a...