She was super sweet and responsive (you know how you try to smile or say hi to someone you don't know and it's just not their day or whatever...). I told her that it's enough for me to get out to the store with just one (and of course sweet little Lilly was just grinning away at her)! This nice lady commented that those two kiddos were FIVE and SIX for her so she pretty much had it down. Yes, you read that right; four kiddos and then twins. Amazing! Super mom!
So I went on about my Targeting and ran into another mom in the aisles. This mom had about a four or five month old who was slouched in the cart because it appeared she couldn't actually sit up yet. Cue the judgement. I passed this momma a few times and each time wanted to run over and pull that baby up and hold her! The baby seemed content in all honesty but in my mind she just didn't know any better. My heart was so heavy about it but I just kept trying to put it out of my mind.
I ended up praying for this momma. I couldn't get the image out of my head and as I gently placed Lilly into her carseat in the parking lot, laughing with her and kissing her, the slouching baby and her momma approached their car. I got a better look at the situation and my heart continued to break! The body language that this momma had and the way she didn't seem to notice or care that her tiny one's head was pressed against the back of the plastic backing on the cart made me cringe. How did she not notice her child's discomfort?! Did she not see that this wasn't working?! Could she not tell that her child was not able to sit up properly and needed more support!? Ah! It was literally killing me!
Later on as I prayed again for that sweet baby's lack of care I compared this mommy to the "put together" one of six kids. What caused me to start conversation with the twins' mom? Why didn't I say hi to this other momma? What if she didn't know how to put her baby in the cart? Maybe she needed someone to acknowledge her or make her feel good. I started to feel guilty but I still prayed for that poor baby! I then thought of Matthew 5:47 And if you great only your own people, what are you doing more than others?
It's so easy to be judgmental. Too easy. I started to think about my struggles with Lilly and the type of momma I am. I was reminded of how the last few nights have been bad and Lilly has woken up a ton. I cannot figure out what it could be and I've thought of and tried everything I know to try! Ive been exhausted due to this and a little grumpy; definitely impatient and irritable. Finally, I started to change my attitude towards putting her to bed and practice a lot of patience. She did better last and we'll see how tonight goes.
I feel like such a failure when something goes wrong with our routine; especially when it's something we've worked so hard to accomplish. I can't stand moving backwards! Seems like if we feel failure in our own lives it makes it that much easier to judge somebody else's. Shame on me!
Of course I analyzed this situation using my faith. It wasn't kind of me to judge that momma but I did. Now to learn from it. Like I said, I prayed for that baby. I also prayed for the momma; that she might love and care for her baby to the best of her ability, for that baby's protection, and for someone to enter that women's life who might mentor her in how to care for a baby. It just seemed like she didn't care :(
My bible study this week is Matthew chapter 14. When Jesus tries to get some time alone to pray, He's followed. As the crowds (about 5,000 people although I learned today it was more like 25,000) approach Matthew 14:14 says "He had compassion on them and healed their sick." While answering my study questions I couldn't help but think about how Jesus probably just wanted to rest and have a time out, but people just kept following Him! His compassion is never ending. I feel like I should have had more compassion for this woman I saw. My heart is still hard as I feel she should have known better; should have seen the obvious. You just never know someone's story, though.
You know the Golden Rule? It came from the bible :) This situation was a great reminder for me; not to be so judgmental and also to reach out to people. We truly have never walked in anyone's shoes but our own.
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