It was about 19 weeks ago that my husband and I went for our 20 week check up to find out the sex of our baby. We were so excited we couldn't stand it! I was so sure it would be a boy and my husband kept mentioning "her" and "she" when referring to Baby Gray.
While the tech did the ultrasound and we held hands in amazement watching and listening as we saw a little body, hands, feet, fingers and toes, a little heart strongly beating, and then we were told everything looked great and all organs were present. As we continued to watch as she pointed out different things she suddenly said "And there's your baby girl." My husband came over and kiss me on the head and in shock, I teared up and needed to hear it again. I just knew it was going to be a boy. We had 2 nephews and 1 niece. All of the first born on both sides were boys. I had convinced myself that it was going to be a little boy and was even more drawn to little boys' clothing and toys at Target or Carter's more than little girls' things. I was certainly not disappointed. It was the most pleasant surprise I could have imagined. To this day, I think I subconsciously prepared myself that it might be a boy so that I wouldn't be disappointed if it was. Not that I truly would have felt disappointment inside, but I'm thinking that deep down, I really must have wanted a little girl.
All of this said, my husband and I were then moved into a small office room to wait for the doctor. We were in awe. We were speechless, then we couldn't stop talking. We had picked out several little boy names correlating with family names and history and couldn't believe that now we were going to be thinking of little girl names. Who knew!? We kept staring at her picture and imagining so many things. We were so, so happy. Even if it had been a boy, the happiness would have been the same. The connection that you automatically feel once you know the sex of your baby is incredible. I felt so much closer to her once I knew. I just wanted to take her out and hug her!
Once the doctor came in all went downhill. We were informed that everything looked great BUT there was one little concern. A two-vessel umbilical cord. "One of the most common umbilical abnormalities," he said. He proceeded to talk about different issues that may occur such as organ development, chromosomal disorders, preterm birth, and the list went on. As we stared at him in complete horror he shrugged his shoulders and said he could tell we were worried. (Who wouldn't be?!?!) His way of assuring us? "There's lots of information out there on the internet." He acted as if it was NO BIG DEAL. It was a HUGE DEAL to two brand new parents.
We looked like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh walking out of the doctor's office that day. There was a cloud over us the rest of the afternoon. All we could think about was how in the world we would protect and support this precious little girl with a two-vessel cord. We drove away looking up information on our cell phones immediately. I cried the entire way home as we read about all of the extreme issues that can occur in these pregnancies. Teaching special needs preschool at the time, all I could think about was IEPs, disorders, Children's hospital, therapists and on and on.
As we have continued through this journey and switched doctors, God has truly worked in our lives. He has given us hope and our trust in Him has grown. Baby Gray is doing just fine as I am now 39 weeks pregnant and exhausted! I wanted to start this blog as a form of support to others who have also gotten not so good news at a 20 week ultrasound or any other time during their pregnancy. As I have gotten closer to giving birth and closer to God in the process, I have become more and more thankful. I would like to support all of those mommies and daddies who have challenging or scary situations with a pregnancy. Whether it be your first or your fourth, God is so good and always has a plan. Long before we can create a plan of our own, He already has us in the beginning stages of a new one. I'd like to offer positive support and encouragement for ANY mommy, whether you have had a healthy pregnancy or a troublesome one. We need to stick together and support each other! I have had days in the beginning where I feared the baby would come too soon and I have also had days where I thought if this baby didn't come, I didn't think I was going to make it one more day!
God is so good and his plan is best. :)
Katie Gray
